No amount of soap can make you clean
Now currently I won’t name them, but I can tell you that this one particular person has got everything she has from bullying and intimidating. I have learnt so much from her. She would constantly affirm ‘i’m amazing’ out loud and would bully her staff at work. She would often remind them of the ‘fact’ that she was making sure they got payed so they better do what she says. What a predictable creature. She carries an entitlement chip and has the notion that she has had to battle her way to the top in a company that I and some of my fellow colleagues once regarded as an ethical company. This does not even begin to hint at the amount of disrespect that this particular person has shown to her ‘underlings’ in this business. We are reminded on a fairly unconscious ‘worker bee’ level that we are expendable. I have seen her coldness and nastiness extend to myself and other people, but she gets away with it. She gets away with it for various reasons. And some of these reasons can be logically deduced and explained. Bullies actually have self-inflated egos, not bruised ones. And to a large extent Australian capitalist systems are run by bullies. Our parliaments are a good example. And if someone has convinced a particular company of their greatness, then goes about bullying their ‘underlings’ into making more money, and so they make more money for this ethical ‘against animal cruelty’ company, then this person gets rewarded. This is the kind of person that in her spare time will be provoked to want to bash another woman whilst she is out on the town. This is the kind of woman that some companies enjoy employing. It is an interesting issue of investigation and it is one that I will keep exploring via short stories and articles. But for the moment I am collecting information and all my experiences with this person and the clones she has made in her image which has given me delicious characters that I am excited about using. She may have fists, but I doubt she has the imagination and grasp of the english language that I possess. I have learnt so much from her. I have always been polite to her and I have let her bully me and I have practised subservience to her. Did you know sometimes the submissive has power? Anyway she can hit, and maybe I can too. I’ve never actually hit a woman before. I’ve never slapped a woman’s face. I would rather fly than fight. But I can fight, as attested to the broken tooth I accidentally gave my ex-lover in a play fight wrestle match. But it’s not really my style, to fight with my fists. My hands extend instead to pens and keyboards, not to slander, not to be nasty, but to write stories. So this bully becomes another character in my files. I’ve watched her over the years, observed her, listened to her fucked up heart and taken notes. So I have learnt a lot. There are amazing characters, whether they be your boss, or your colleague, who are so un-real that they are perfect for writers like me. Some of these bullies make their employees fear they will lose their job if they don’t complement her enough. Her moods dictate the moods of the shop. Everyone must obey. And a large company rewards her. She makes the moola. The company benefits from this. Casual staff complain and the matter is ‘investigated’. This is a gesture but nothing more. It cannot be more. Money must be made and who will organise and train staff? NO animal cruelty should extend to protecting the staff from their basic human rights being abused; to work in a place where the dignity and personhood is respected.When I was suffering severe depression and my partner was taken to a psychiatric hospital, did you know what her response was? ‘Sweetheart find someone to fill your shift, I have a business to run, I”m not here to make friends’. Well you haven’t made friends. You have made your way up to the top of a mountain of shit. A crown of shit. You have shown no compassion for any of your staff. Let me re-phrase that…you have ‘shown’ compassion as a surface level of your job requirements. I wonder what happened in her last job…hmm I wonder if she was fired? I wonder if it was for bullying?
It doesn’t matter. What a great character she is. Bad people do go far, but they end up very lonely. It’s a business right? One has to do what one has to do. I’m not here to make friends. I”m here to run a business. Well I’ve listened to this for years and I finally quit. I knew to get out before christmas because I couldn’t stand another hour on the floor with her bossing everyone around, having to pander to all of her moods, watching her throw her weight around treating the staff in disrespectful ways. I couldn’t do it. It almost destroyed me. Almost.
So this character has made it into my files. My writer’s files. She will be dug up one day and moulded into a story and published, because I have learnt so much from her.
Any resemblance to characters living or dead is not a coincidence. Writers are dangerous. You might wear the lingerie of the same name, but we are the real Agent Provocateurs.